When couples think about, talk about, and settle on divorce, most of the time they take specific actions to protect their little kids. Some of these parents will even decide to stay because of the kids, and if divorce is unavoidable, they will do everything they can to protect their children. Unfortunately, this only applies to the little kids and pre-teens.
But, have you stopped to think about how your grown kids, the ones considered the young adults, are affected? A report by the Bureau of Census in the US found that between 40 and 50 percent of divorces are affecting current marriages, affecting a significant number of teenagers, not just young kids. The report also reveals that the effects of divorce live on in kids, into their adulthood. What this means is that divorcing parents have to tread carefully.
As you think about filing for spousal support, note that the following are the potential long-term side effects of divorce on kids:
Anxiety and Depression
Failing to give your kids as much attention, especially avoiding and ignoring their emotions before, during and after a divorce, often means exposure of those children to emotional and mental health issues, most of which result in anxiety and depression.
You might, therefore, want to stop arguing and hurling insults in front of your child. Venting your anger about the other parent to your child is also counterintuitive, as it might leave your child carrying the blame for the divorce. This undue pressure easily contributes to depression, anxiety, as well as sleeping issues and difficulty sleeping, among other problems.
It could result in unhealthy relationships
While we are expected to move on or forget the pain after a life-changing event, this is hardly the case, and most children from divorced parents end up struggling to sustain or even find healthy relationships. Psychologists report that divorces hurt children, with most of the affected children also going through divorces later on.
But, that is not all. Divorce often breeds a fear of abandonment which stays with the child into adulthood resulting in loss and failure which could affect their adult relationships, making them reluctant to commitment or even an inability to work through relationship problems.
Behavioral/ Social Problems
Children from divorces are more likely to develop antisocial and violent behavior from childhood into their adult lives. The frequent uncontrolled loss of temper could result in a criminal mindset. In extreme cases, the aggression and need for disobedience could turn your child into a social misfit. The emotional and psychological problems faced could also make these children prone to substance abuse.
But, all is not lost. Good can come out of a divorce.
For example, some divorces result in healthier parent-child relationships, especially when children see their parents happier after the divorce. At the same time, the divorce could mean your child is growing up with positive role models – when they see that their parent did not endure in a disrespectful marriage lacking love and happiness. When this happens, children grow up knowing what to value in their relationships.